Removing the Scarlet Letter

Divorce.

The word itself makes many of us cringe.  It isn’t glamorous, easy, or a decision that should be taken lightly.  It cuts to the very hearts of fathers, mothers, and children.  Unfortunately to some it is an easy way out, a way to avoid working out their problems, or simply a search for something better.  While other couples work hard for years to stay together yet end up eventually going their separate ways.  Then in other devastating situations divorce is the only option of survival.  Their marriage is filled with physical, verbal, and emotional abuse.  Whatever the situation may be, divorce is a word that has become far too familiar in our society.

I am a product of divorce in more ways than one.

My parents divorced when I was 5.  I don’t remember much about life before that time, but I do remember I was happy.  I never once felt the tension or stress that my parents must have felt before they separated.  I was just an oblivious little girl enjoying life.  After the separation, my mom took all the steps needed to make sure I transitioned easily from one home to the next.  There were times it was very hard, and definitely not ideal, but I learned to cope with my new life. 

As I got older I became determined to never face divorce again.  I didn’t want my children to ever see in me what I saw in my parents.  The hurt my mother carried daily or the pained look my father would give me when the weekend was over.  I didn’t want my children to carry that burden. I didn’t want to carry that burden.  Unfortunately, we're often burdened with things out of our control…

I am now divorced.

The word that made me cringe for years, the word I swore I would never have to face again, and the single word that could shatter me.  After 7 years of marriage the unexpected blow was devastating.  For months I carried the shame like a scarlet letter “D” even though it wasn’t mine to carry.  I was afraid to hold my head up in fear of what others’ thought of me.  I wanted to hide away because I was ashamed of how my life turned out.  I woke up each day drowning in the pain and shame… 

One day I finally realized that I had a choice:  I could continue to drown or I could start swimming.

 

I chose to swim.

 

I will no longer be burdened and ashamed over the choice of someone else, I will no longer hide away or worry about the pitiful, judgmental glances I receive.  I chose to remove the scarlet letter that had weighed me down for too long.  If you are carrying a scarlet letter today, no matter what that letter may represent, I urge you to remove it!  Remove every last stitch that has been embroidered on your chest!

 Release it!

 

You deserve to be set free but you are the only one who can do it.